So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It's official drugs can't kill me
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
