Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
