why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
