So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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