my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
