you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
