Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
