My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
