She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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