Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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