Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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