this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize