would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
