I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
handjob tips. give me some.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
