Jerry, you need to find god
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
