Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
