Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
