i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
