Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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