Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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