Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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