ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
