the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
