No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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