we made out on top of his cat.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
honey bunches of taint.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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