i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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