i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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