and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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