Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
