Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Your cock deserves a montage
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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