My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
