I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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