oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
