Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
