its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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