I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
