The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
