physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
