i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
