I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
