i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize