i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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