Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
