You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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