You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
