Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
