I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
