So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
