I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize