Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
