Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize