what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
