You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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