So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
