party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
