I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Me too!
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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