I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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