what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
