marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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