She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We named our party play list daddy issues
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
