I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
