Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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